Group Think: Idol of Self Preservation

“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33, English Standard Version).

The psychological state of deindividuation has never been so apparent now. Women march with obscenities on their heads, fighting for the right to murder their children while asking for support to set the Whitehouse ablaze.

When we are talking about deindividuation, one thing that the text does not mention is the perception of being a part of a crowd. Unfortunately, social media has supplied that platform, and I have seen many Christians fall into this satanic trap of conforming to what “seems” to be the norm.

Many have laid down their cross at the feet of a reduced self-awareness. Being anonymous on a social platform allows for increased conformity – even when it goes against Christian commands.

The need to feel relevant and accepted by others is an idol.

Psychology refers to this as a form of evaluation apprehension – when we are more concerned about others’ evaluations of us than having a fear of the Lord God, as we should.

“Woe to you when all people speak well of you…” (Luke 6:26a, ESV). 

But, as Branscombe & Baron (2017) state, change can occur when there is a “shift in norms,” and individuals marginalize the few who are creating the conflict. I believe we see this with the several states taking action against the perceived “norm” and passing heart-beat legislation.

As we see the bad with the use of social media, we can also see the good. The opportunities to encourage those fighting the good fight of faith can be encouraged them to continue their fight – this encouragement and support reduce laziness or “social loafing” by Christians who have become complacent – or defeated in their efforts. This form of drive theory social facilitation can increase the arousal of the Spirit – by “fanning into flame the gift(s) of God” (2 Tim 1:6, ESV) – just a little encouragement from a godly perspective can change everything.

Branscombe, N. R., & Baron, R. A. (2017). Social Psychology (14th ed.). NY, NY: Pearson.

Southerland Springs: When Law Enforcement Doesn’t Protect or Serve


Devin Patrick Kelley was court-martialed in 2012 for assault on both his wife and child on two separate occasions. One instance resulted in a fracture to his baby stepson’s skull (Connor & Arkin, 2017). In 2013 Kelley was brought up on charges again of sexual assault, an investigation was conducted, but Kelley was never tried. Following the court-martial for domestic abuse, Kelley served one year and was discharged from the military with a bad-conduct discharge and a reduced rank (Silva, Abdelkader, Williams, & McCausland, 2017).

In addition to assaulting his wife and child and sexual assault against another woman, police were called out again to investigate another domestic dispute at his home, but again, charges were not filed. Kelley had also had a prior charge of animal cruelty in Colorado as well as an escape from a mental institution while serving in the U. S. Airforce (Connor & Arkin, 2017).

Although gun laws should have been effective in keeping Kelley from purchasing a registered firearm, the United States Airforce failed to report Kelley’s court-martial, and police never filed charges that would result in removing his second amendment rights. Therefore, nothing stopped him when on Sunday, November 5, 2017, Kelley proceeded to open fire at a church in Southerland Springs, TX, where his former in-laws were members.

Kelley began shooting the people outside the church as he walked toward the grounds and proceeded inside the building where he killed 26 people, leaving 20 wounded (Montgomery, Mele, & Fernandez, 2017). A neighbor heard the shots fired from inside her home and notified her grandfather, Mr. Stephen Willeford, who grabbed his registered and modified AK-15 and pursued Kelley. Willeford parked his car 20 feet from Kelley’s vehicle, perched his rifle on the hood of a truck, and shot Kelley twice in the chest, stopping him but not killing him. Kelley was wearing a bulletproof vest; although the shots did not kill Kelley, they ended the carnage. Devin Patrick Kelley was found dead in his vehicle that had been run off the road by Willeford and another bystander. Kelley took his own life with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

Willeford believes that what happened that day was a battle between good and evil. He says he was terrified, but he thinks the calm he experienced was the Holy Spirit taking over. (Mooney, 2018).

General Aggression Model (GAM)

According to the general aggression model (GAM), situational and individual variables trigger arousal, affective stages, and cognition (Brandscombe & Baron, 2017). Anderson & Bushman (2007) explain that the GAM encompasses existing theories of aggression, including the Social Learning Theory (Bandura, 1977), Cognitive Neoassociation Theory (Berkowitz, 1993), and Social Interaction Theory (Tedeschi & Felson, 1994). In addition, this model states that behavior is based on perceptual schemata (Cavalcanti & Pimentel, 2016). These can be beliefs or perceptions of how an individual or others think, such as what Kelley may have believed about how his in-laws perceived him could have caused him to choose that particular church to ignite his wrath. In addition, GAM integrates situational and personal factors such as Kelley’s repeated attempts to contact his former wife, to no avail, as well as his repeated troubles with individuals who caused him discomforts, such as the police officers, the woman who charged him with sexual assault, the military, and animals.

Variables that cause aggression, according to the GAM also include personality traits as seen in Kelley throughout his life span where his response to authority and individuals such as his wife, his infant stepchild, and even animals was met with his aggressive behavior. Branscombe & Baron (2017) state that the predisposed traits of believing that aggression is appropriate or knowing how to acquire the skills necessary for aggression are consistent with the GAM. In addition, a culmination of these situational and personal factors variables can lead to overt aggression when they increase physiological arousal and generate hostile feelings or thoughts, increasing beliefs and perceptions about aggressive acts and bringing them to mind. Such was the case with the ever-troubled Devin Patrick Kelley. 

Anderson & Bushman (2002) said that the patterns found in these individuals are developed through experiences that influence a person’s perceptions and behavioral sequences. As a result, these patterns become automatic responses – as was evident in the case of Kelley and should have been dealt with immediately and consistently, especially when law enforcement, sworn to protect and serve, swept the repeated acts of violence, under the rug, resulting in the death of those innocent families.


Ashley, H. T. (2019). Aggressive Acts. A research paper. Published at: Grand Canyon University: AZ.

Anderson, C. A., & Bushman, B. (2002). Human aggression. Annual Review of Psychology, 53(1), 27-51.

Bandura, A. (1977). Social learning theory. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice-Hall.

Berkowitz, L. (1993). AggressionIts causes, consequences, and control. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Branscombe, N. R., & Baron, R. A. (2017). Social Psychology (14th ed.). NY, NY: Pearson.

Cavalcanti, J. G. & Pimentel, C. E. (2016). Personality and aggression: A contribution of the General Aggression Model / Personalidade e agressão: uma contribuição do Modelo Geral da Agressão. Estudos de Psicologia (Campinas), (3), 443.

Connor, T. & Arkin, D. (2017, November 7). Texas gunman Devin Kelley escaped from mental health facility in 2012. NBC News. Retrieved from

Montgomery, D., Mele, C., & Fernandez, M. (2017, November 5). Gunman kills at least 26 in attack on rural Texas church. The New York Times. Retrieved from

Mooney, M. J. (2018, November). The hero of the Sotherland Springs shooting is still reckoning with what happened that day. Texas Monthly. Retrieved from

Silva, D., Abdelkader, R., Williams, P., & McCausland, P. (2017, November 5). Texas church shooting: More than two dozen parishioners killed. NBC News. Retrieved from

Tedeschi, J. T., & Felson, R. B. (1994). Violence, aggression, and coercive actions. Washington: American Psychological Association.

Attachment Style and the Fit to Lead BIP

In the attachment study by Freeze and DiTommaso (2015), it states “social support has been found to be an important determinant of well-being” (p. 69). Using “well-being” as their outcome, they found that those individuals, regardless of their attachment to family members, found security in their church family, and those who were more involved in church. Especially individuals involved with small group Bible studies reported more positive well-being. 

This finding is consistent with other studies that I have used to address our Christ-centered, biblically based Batterer Intervention Program (BIP), “Fit to Lead.” 

Research states that the “punitive measures being taken against domestic violence offenders are least likely to deter (and perhaps will even exacerbate) tendencies to quarrel among persons who lack community and/or familial bonds” (Sherman, Smith, Schmidt, & Rogan, 1992, p. 681). The federal Justice Department also found that intervention programs have “little to no impact on reoffending, nor do they change the attitudes of the offender. In fact, according to an NIJ update in 2009, some programs actually seem to make abusers more likely to abuse. 

However – Sullivan (2001) found that as a commitment to religiosity increases, not only does the commitment to the marriage increase but so does marital satisfaction. In addition, when the church gets involved, research has shown that batterers who are referred to a BIP by their clergy are over 90% more likely to complete the program and the rate of recidivism decreases as well. 


Ashley, H. (2019). Research study response to Attachment to God and church family: Predictors of spiritual and psychological well-being. Freeze, T. A. & DiTommaso, E. (2004). Journal of Psychology and Theology, 32. 60-71.

U. S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics Selected Findings. (2009). Female victims of violence. (NCJ Publication No. 228356). Retrieved from 

Sherman, L., Smith, D., Schmidt, J. D., and Rogan, D. P. (1992). Crime, punishment and stake in conformity: Legal and informal control of domestic violence. American Sociological Review, 52, 680–690.

Sullivan, K. T. (2001). Understanding the relationship between religiosity and marriage: An investigation of the immediate and longitudinal effects of religiosity on newlywed couples. Journal of Family Psychology, 15(4), 610-626. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.15.4.610

Time to pick a fight. You in?

Stolen from Holly’s site at:

Dang, it’s been a rough week. Like really, really frustrating. Domestic violence is a tough gig – but I don’t think I have had a week like this in a long, long time.

Sleepless, restless nights, literally a heart that was so heavy and achy that I thought my statin had stopped working– Dave and I took it to the Lord and His holy Word, and today, I realized why my heart hurt so bad…


And it’s not just the magistrates, law enforcement, DA’s, judges, or the justice system – but by women, men, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, parents, grandparents who call themselves disciples of Christ – But it’s mostly the church!

By the Pastors… Shepherds, ordained by God to preach the whole counsel of Christ – By church members who sit idly by and refuse to be Paul’s with Timothys, older women without younger women to mentor. No one out on the corners or in the streets witnesses or making disciples.

A lot of conferences and trainings… But very little waging of battle.

Because of their complacency, their un-offensive ‘gospel’ – we are under the wrath of an angry – but righteous God.

Because of the preacher’s complacency, we have (mostly male) offenders who know there is no consequence for their actions. And they are allowed to sit in church, participate in church service, with little or no accountability or church discipline. They are free to be vile human beings simply because they can – After all – the men’s pancake breakfast is a whole month away…

The worst part is that they have been freely allowed to target vulnerable, broken, un-discipled women who will stand by them no matter what.

Yes, I might need a week at the beach. But since Biden is part of our punishment, we can’t afford the towel we need to lay on, let alone the gas to get there – so here I am.

We are a Christian organization. But not like you think.

The world’s idea – the American idea of “Christian” is not truth.

The truth of being Christian… a Christian… is more than identifying as a Christian: with your made up god, and rules that are fluid and ever changing, to assure your prominent societal status, doesn’t offend anyone.

“Woe to you, when all people speak well of you” (Lk. 6:26).

The truth of being a Christian is that you are a disciple of Christ.

And ONLY a disciple of Christ, no other. You are totally surrendered to Him. Obedient to His rules, His commands… His law.

There is no authority but Christ. No king but King Jesus.

NONE. And it might cost you everything.

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you” (Jn 15:18).

Victims come to us because they profess to be Christians and want help. First and foremost, safety. So we try and find them shelter.  Secondly to answer the question: “How did I get here?” Sadly, when the latter is addressed with truth, they don’t usually like the answer.

I know I didn’t.

I left the church for 25 years when I was confronted in my sins – all of which were linked to my perpetual state of victimhood.

Offenders choose our program because of the ridiculous view of Christians they have developed in the modern-day church preaching.

They are shocked to realize that we don’t accept the “reckless love,” blasphemy against God– nor do we accept their excuses for their past as the justification for their present behavior.

We abhor their use of the name of Christ in any part of describing themselves. And we inform them that God does NOT “love them right where they are,” and by their “fruit,” we can testify that they are indeed a sinner headed straight for hell.

Frankly, the church and the American justice system might let them off the hook, but God won’t – and neither will we.

That is dangerous to not only their eternal health – but their current wellbeing – because their attitudes and beliefs would never change – leading them to become a danger to society because their behavior – that is driven by their attitudes and beliefs – would only escalate! And let’s talk about the dangers to the body of Christ… Allowing these predators to cry their way back into the church without the least bit of church discipline is not taking care of “orphans and widows.”  

“For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions…” (2 Tim. 3:6).

And thereby you allow the cycle to continue and God’s holy bride to be defiled.

Yet again.

Do you prefer science? Then look it up! It’s proven to be true… but keep on letting them get away with it or let them all out – it’ll be great – just ask NY and Chicago how its working for them.

And don’t try to give me that line of garbage stating that “God loves them…” because that is an outright lie. A holy God, who sent his Son to suffer and die on a cross for the sins of mankind, is not about to allow that blood to become defiled or lessen the sacrifice all because you want to believe in some mystical imaginative idol who is not holy or just.

God’s word declares that He “hates the evil doer” (Ps. 5:5).

Unrepentant sin has no place in the church of God. Light has NO fellowship with darkness. There will be no unrepentant sinner in the Kingdom of God.

Keep the bride holy!

Another excuse I have heard is that making deals to keep offenders out of jail is “saving taxpayers money…”

Taxpayers disagree. We’re all for crime and punishment. As a matter of fact, the latest polls show that crime is #1 on the midterm list of concerns for voters.

Additionally, Christian programming has been empirically proven to have a higher completion rate, and a lower recidivism rate – as well as improve marital commitment and marital satisfaction.

You’d think in the “Bible-belt” we’d be thriving…

Yeah… well.

There is a fine line between having compassion on victims and also having compassion on the magistrates who are appointed to administer justice. And regardless of public opinion, I do possess compassion – but sometimes it gets hidden beneath the frustration of the unholy charade that is before my eyes.

On ALL sides of the spectrum!

We live in a society that is ruled by (unholy, unconstitutional, and frankly incompetent) organizations and agencies that have no sense of justice because they do not understand biblical justice.

They don’t have an understanding because preachers aren’t preaching Biblical Justice – Who are we kidding – They are not preaching justice at all! The wrath of God has been deleted from their collective vocabulary – as they shake their heads and run to the politicians for advice.

And salvation.

The American Society of the “churched,” has no idea of what Christ meant when He said that He came to fulfill the law – or that “not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished.” Nor do they care to learn what that means – even right here, smack-dab in the Bible belt, where everyone professes, “I am a believer!”

Believer in what exactly?

If we are to win this battle – Somebody needs to pick up the “Sword of truth” and fight!

We have victims who in the same manner that they faithfully attend church; deliberately and decisively marry unholy, irreverent, offenders – then fail to fulfill their responsibility to testify against their abuser – causing magistrates to develop attitudes of complacency.

Can you really blame them?

Here’s a solution: If you dare carry the banner of Christ, don’t marry a non-Christian. “Do not be unequally yoked.” “What does a believer have to do with an unbeliever?”

“He wasn’t like that before we got together”

That’s a load of garbage.

I’ve been in this gig for over 3 decades, having first been abandoned, molested, gang-raped, and repeatedly abused – And the “I didn’t know…” excuse won’t fly with me.

Been there, done that, wrote the book on it – and I have a T-shirt.

Two actually.

It took me nearly a lifetime to realize that although, my little girl me had absolutely nothing to do with abandonment, abuse, molestation, or the gang-rape – My adult woman had everything to do with using my past to justify my choices to defy, rebel, and deny God’s laws, justify and excuse my sins, master the art of manipulation, and take my unrighteous anger out on anyone who dared confronted me.

So, save it for the heretical churches, woke pastors, organizations and agencies –

The truth is: You (and I) rebelled against a Holy God, failed to follow His commands to choose a godly man who loved Jesus more and was committed to a life of cherishing, loving, praying for you and presenting you “blameless” before the righteous God who gave you to him as a gift to respect and treasure.

Repent, and “sin no more.”

Truth. Is. Freedom.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (Jn. 10:10).

Don’t be the thief in your own life.

Our mission is the Gospel. Our ministry’s mission is the restoration of God’s holy design for the family unit. Where domestic violence, bullying, alcoholism, drug addiction, and every other perversion of God’s holy design for society’s wellbeing begins and ends.

The justice system? Well, the bottom line in domestic violence is this little nugget of truth: No one is going to help you.

“They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one.” (Ps. 14:3).

The church will accept his fake tears as repentance, and he’ll be sitting two rows behind you in the next service. The police will show up but the judicial commission won’t issue a warrant, the DA will cut a deal in the name of “saving taxpayer’s money,” the judge will take the ADA recommendations for a plea deal and … well, you won’t testify anyway, so what does it matter?

Although some of the toughest DV laws have been written – only a few are implemented. Even when a case does come before the court – that is if/when a law enforcement officer (LEO) gathers the information and determines there is probable cause to make the arrest (warning – you’d better not be one of those who doesn’t bruise easily) and is successful in getting a warrant for the monster –

Chances are that the offender won’t be punished. If the offender is a woman, count on absolutely nothing. She will never receive the punishment due – well unless she kills you.

If it is a “he,” he might be mandated to take 8 hours of “anger management,” pay the court costs.

Note: The magistrate will always make sure those fines are paid… secondly, domestic violence is not an anger issue… if you treat it like such, it will only manifest itself elsewhere – like a mass shooting at a post office, nightclub, or school…

Restitution? Not so much – but no worries, he’ll be home in time for dinner.

And if the victim does not abide by their duty to testify – “Case dismissed.”

And rightfully so.

If you refuse to testify – even if there is another witness (like the police, neighbor, roommate, etc) – without your testimony, the case will be automatically dismissed.

Stupid – yes. This affects the next victim he abuses – but that’s the unconstitutional law that they follow, so, that’s how it is.

Biblically – the Bible says, that if these involved (including the victim), do NOT testify, then they themselves have sinned and are therefore due the same punishment.

“If anyone sins in that he hears a public adjuration to testify, and though he is a witness, whether he has seen or comes to know the matter – yet DOES NOT SPEAK, he shall bear his iniquity” (Lev. 5:1).

God means it when He commands us to “love your neighbor” (Mk 12:31).

But we don’t live in a society that believes in a holy and righteous God. We live in a society where people have made a god of their own image that will “understand” that they have to follow the laws deemed appropriate by their supreme authority – or they might lose their job and since God says they must provide… well, He’ll understand.

That’s an idol.

“Whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (Js. 4:17). 

Therefore, as the abuse continues to escalate – and it will – you need to remember that God has given you a direct command to “flee from evil,” so if you don’t …


Too harsh?

I can’t help you if your dead.

Don’t get me wrong. I will fight for you.

But only if you stand behind me and hold my arrows.

“He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze” (Ps. 18:34).

I have and will call out the misgivings of the judicial system, the magistrate’s complacency, bad policy, misuse of funds, lying, conniving offenders, useless agencies, programming, and sentencing.

No to mention the seriously gross amount of animal shelters vs. DV shelters.

I have and will continue to stand up to the bullies of the church, institutions, agencies, magistrates, and justice system as a whole.

And I have no problem loudly proclaiming that stupid policy including lenient sentencing, lack of swift and consistent punishment, is unhealthy for society – and is far from Biblical justice:

“Strike a scoffer, and the simple (naïve) will learn prudence; reprove a man of understanding, and he will gain knowledge” (Pr. 19:25).

And I certainly have no problem calling out believers in positions of authority that are leading the least of these astray – or causing society as a whole to stumble.

“But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt 18:6).

I will demand a report – but not before rolling my eyes, and overtly letting them know what an irresponsible and moronic statement they made after you layout your case before law enforcement officers and they answer with, “So, what do you want us to do?”

  • My modern-day impersonation of My Lord kneeling down and drawing in the sand when people are doing/saying something incredibly stupid.

I will “take it before the church,” when they blow me off in a one-on-one “meeting” and refuse to hear the Biblical truth of their “profanity against the name of the Lord by failing to keep their oath.” (Lev. 5:1).

But don’t think for a minute that I’m going to let you slide –

If you want to heal – you need to change.

I have a profound fear of standing before a holy God when he asks:

“Holly. How did you ‘speak for my oppressed?’ How did you ‘seek justice? How did you teach the younger women?’”

I will take the heat – I truly have no fear of losing my earthly reputation. It will be whatever God determines it to be. Period.

“It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes” (Ps. 119:71).


And it’s a HUGE but.

To win this fight – we must lose the complacency and fight.

We all must work together – as the church. As God’s elect “salt and light,” if we are ever to get this train back on the tracks.

Our Magistrates must understand that God’s laws are embedded into the U. S. Constitution – the very same Constitution that they have sworn an oath to uphold. And they sealed their fate by declaring this oath in the assembly, in the presence of the masses, before a holy and righteous God – Usually while placing their hand on His holy Word.

Therefore, we will hold you accountable to your oath. And that you will not profane the holy name of God Almighty:

“You shall not swear by my name falsely, and so profane the name of your God. I am Lord.” (Lev. 19:2).

Additionally, because you have determined to do this all by yourselves… to be slaves of the ungodly government rules of not working with (forsaking the brothers see the 2nd chapter of Acts) Christian organizations (non-profits) – you have therefore become a slave to the nation that hates the God you proclaim to serve.

Offenders must understand that they alone are responsible for their actions and when they fail – they must be punished according to God’s command.

So, one or the other will be the result: Salvation or death.

“For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.” (2 Cor. 7:10).

Victims need to understand that the institution of marriage is not to become your idol, your identity, or your tomb.

But if you fail to obey the command of God and recognize the truth of Scripture: “A man of violence entices his neighbor and leads him in a way that is not good,” and that you have been commanded to “flee from evil,” you alone are responsible for those decisions… and the consequences.  

“If your hand… foot… eye… causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell, where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.” (Mk 9:45-49 para).

In addition, victims who do not cooperate with authorities and want to remain in a perpetual state of victimhood is not tolerable to a holy God. And we’re not going to stand by and let you do that either.

Victims who call 911 and refuse to testify – only to call 911 ten more times and still refuse to testify – but want a restraining order – then violate that same order – do not expect cooperation from your local law enforcement.

And neither will we. That’s an abuse of the system and a MAJOR part of the reason we are where we are.

You must face up to your part in entering and remaining in a relationship with the idiot you chose.

Forget your idolatrous idea that Jesus is going to wrap His righteous arms around your unrepenting self… It didn’t happen to the woman at the well – and He’s not going to allow you to skate by either.

Other non-profits – Well, if you’re not Christian, we have some use for you. But it is not to get your policy ideas, advice, or programming. Just stay in your lane and don’t tell us how to obey God’s holy laws.

If you are another Christian non-profit, we must work together. God in no way, anywhere in Scripture, does He tell us to be the “lone wolf.” We each have our own gifts and they complement – not compete – with one another. And they all bring glory to God alone.  

And you ask “where am I going?

I will answer like William Wallace did in Braveheart:

I am going to pick a fight.

Wilson County, TN: “Victim to Victory” Support Group

“Victim to Victory” is a Christ-centered, Scripture-saturated, and biblically-grounded Domestic Violence, sexual assault, and trauma-informed, support group for women of Wilson County, TN.

Each Monday evening from 6pm to 8pm, beginning May 2nd at 6pm. This support group for women 18 and over, will be held at the Wilson County Chamber of Commerce Board Room. 149 Public Square; Lebanon, TN 37087-2751.

For more information contact Holly T. Ashley at or 615-553-4853 to register for this FREE event. And please – spread the word, repost, repost, repost!!

Brought to you by Cross Strength Ministries and R3 Domestic Violence Services and Training.

Domestic Violence: Another Piece to the Puzzling Reason it Continues: Dear Law Enforcement/Politicians… You’re doing it wrong.

If we have learned anything from the Gabby Petito domestic homicide case; it is that we need to do something different.

You would think that when a domestic homicide occurs every 90 seconds across America, things would change, and the “powers that be” might listen to the experts in the field…

But they do not.

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8)

But then again, when we kill unborn children, videotape rapes in broad daylight, kill innocent people with drones, murder pedophiles in their prison cell, ignore intelligence that led to the slaughter of 13 of America’s finest military men and women, not to mention, leave innocent lives behind to be beheaded and hung from a helicopter (via our own aircraft), after bailing out criminals who killed innocent people and destroyed their lively hoods during the “summer of love…”

I suppose I should not be surprised when I am dismissed, ignored, and shut out.

Called mean. Referred to as “too frustrated” and told that I need to “change my attitude.”

That law enforcement officials are “social workers… counselors…” and do not need our expertise…. After all, they’ve had the training…

That the political leaders “have our best interest at heart….” And are doing “all they can…” But, Holly, if you could get me this or that… I’ll be able to …

Sure, you will.

I’ve complied. I’ve done all I have been asked… Yet here we are. “Doing all we can,” with our hands tied behind our backs… the backs you have tried to break by pushing against the wall, time and time again.

I have screamed from the rooftops for well over two and a half decades – to no avail. No one wants to listen to the truth – especially if they have to deal with their own incompetence.

When I began my “career” in domestic violence, it was out of sheer necessity. My ex-cop abuser left me for dead on the floor of our garage only two nights after he had broken my hand and tried to kill me by beating me with an iron fireplace poker.  

From the courtroom, I learned that although I had called 911 upon his return to the shared residence at 6:00 pm and the neighbor across the street called again at 7:30 – The police where he had been employed did not respond until nearly 10:30 pm.

The precinct, run by my 2nd cousin, was less than 1 mile down the road from our home… Yeah, I have a life-history lesson, firsthand, about Politician and leadership and their processes of corruption, cover-ups, and coercion.

When they finally got around to coming to the home, both vehicles in the garage were missing, and even though we did not have a truck to pull it with, the 30’ jet boat was also gone.

They found me unconscious, with a broken arm, broken jaw, and a broken neck.

I was taken to a local hospital where I was told to “find shelter.”

The only problem with that was – This was 35 years ago… There were only 2 shelters for women in Arizona and they were solely for women with children and they were each 2 ½  hours away in either direction.

It was at the initial meeting with the judge the next morning, upon the abuser’s release, whereby I learned that I had 10 days to remove myself from the residence, with the statement following an assessment of my physical injuries: “If you can’t work, you can’t pay the bills.”

Although my experience has led me down a road whereby a lot of GOOD things have changed – (a standardized definition of domestic abuse, funding (although if you’re a Christian organization – you’re not on that list).

More shelters (of course, if you’re an animal, chances are you have a better shot a getting a bed, since there are seven times the amount of shelters for animals than people), hotlines, coalitions, agencies, and organizations, resources, referrals, education, awareness campaigns (although now it’s all about being politically correct, inclusive, and… the all-powerful, Critical Race theoretical garbage) which has led to some proper – but more often: improper training, and laws…. More and more laws.

But it doesn’t matter one single bit; if the laws are not followed by the very people that are sworn to “protect and serve,” do not enforce them.

Equally, it is to no avail for prosecutors to rush through cases without a proper investigation and judges who simply issue an order of protection (OOP) and an “anger management” class.

Against the empirical (and Biblical) evidence that shows “anger” is the manifestation of the beliefs, thoughts, and attitudes of the offender that produce the outcome, that is, domestic abuse.

But, hey… the classes are short and without confrontation – and I have been told by prosecutors that, “that’s what the offender wants….”

So, there you go.

“Listen to the word of the Lord, O sons of Israel, For the Lord has a case against the inhabitants of the land, Because there is no faithfulness or kindness Or knowledge of God in the land. There is swearing, deception, murder, stealing and adultery. They employ violence, so that bloodshed follows bloodshed” (Hosea 4:1-3).

The country has now seen, firsthand, what happens when police officers do not take 911 calls seriously or follow the law to make a “mandatory arrest.”

People die.

At the rate of 1 every 90 seconds.

And now, because the law enforcement officials have botched the investigation – on every level, we do not have the suspect in custody – or his parents – and we will probably never know when the coward took his life, let alone how he actually died.

Let alone whatever happened the night that Petito was strangled to death.

Was she dead or alive when she was buried?

Did Laundrie kill himself after he got home, and did his parents cover it up? Did he ever really ever come home?

I realize that there were eyewitness recollections that say they witnessed seeing him… but research shows that recall-witness statements are wrong nearly 74% of the time… and can be manipulated by suggestive reporting by media and other testimony.


 Did they hide the body until they got the “all clear” to return to the wooded area to let the alligators and wildlife consume the evidence on Laundrie’s body?

All while destroying evidence at their UNSECURED home?

Why was Laundrie hitchhiking? Was Gabby already dead?

Questions we will never know because the first responding officers on the scene did NOT do their job.

What they did was so typical. It made my heart sink.

And frankly, I’ve had enough.

I have had enough of the lies, the semantics, the games, the cover-ups, the inadequacies, the lack of wisdom, and the ineptness and incompetence of everyone involved.

God did not make us to fight these evils alone.

From the days of creation, God made two of each kind – including human beings (one race, by the way) – Male and female (by the way) – to work in relationship with one another, to “carry each other’s burdens.”

He gave us the individual gifts of the Holy Spirit – so that we could work as a unified body: One part of the body does not say to another that because they are not an eye or an ear, they are useless.

But apparently, the “believers” in law enforcement and the judicial system must have overlooked that part.

Love God. Love People.

Well, not really… There are those with power…

And then there are the peasants.

The 911 operator was rude, interrupting the caller on numerous occasions, and flat-out arrogant and dismissive.

Then referred to the PHYSICAL ABUSE as stated by the eyewitness as a “domestic problem.”

Do you want to know why people videotape rapes on a train rather than get involved?

When the AUTHORITIES do not take it seriously – why should anyone else?

When there is no arrest, no prosecution, no incarceration, no consequences – and they are just going to go free….

… and what would you expect from a country that murders children in the womb? That lets violent criminals walk the streets. That allows aggressive, dangerous, politically motivated thugs to loot and burn down small businesses?

A government that fights for the rights of perverts and bails out thugs that burn down cities…

We have learned that the lives of others really aren’t that important after all – That it is all about the “clicks,” “likes,” and getting ahead… achieving and maintaining power and control.  

No matter the cost to others; Let alone the cost to society as a whole.

God says those in authority are held to a higher standard…

These actions are not going to be forgotten – nor will they be excused.

The police flat-out ignored the statements made by the eyewitnesses and, therefore, did not make an arrest, did not search the vehicle, did not follow the law in making a mandatory arrest.

(Just a note – In this day and age in forensics, we know FOR A FACT that bruising can take 2 – 3 days to show up on a victim. Cops have been trained in this … supposedly).

The responding officer was so arrogant and flagrant in his sympathy towards Brian Laundrie that he went so far as to violate every code of ethics practiced by (the real) professionals in the field – and he even threw his own wife under the bus by detailing her mental health issues, medication, and his own personal experiences “dealing with her.”

Just watch the video – if you even begin to excuse the officer’s behavior, you are part of the problem. So just sit down.

Did he just diagnose Gabby with a mental health issue, all while excusing Laundrie’s outburst?

Yes, he did.

This same officer from the Moab Police Department (Utah) went on to file a FALSE report stating that the incident was “more of a mental/emotional health issue than a domestic assault.”


I’m pretty sure emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse IS ABUSE! Not only did the officers witness this firsthand – just in mere observation of the constant crying (as reported) by Gabby – but they had an EYEWITNESS 911 CALL of PHYSICAL ABUSE.

Did they call a domestic violence service provider? Specifically trained and experienced to assess the situation, establish victim/offender? Provide resources, referrals, transportation to a shelter?

Did they check the “anxiety” medications and verify with the Doctors?

Did they verify the “history” of the relationship?

Did they even do a safety plan?


Apparently, THESE officers (like all the others across America), obviously learned, through their “extensive” 1 hour, lunch-n-learn Domestic Violence Training, that Domestic abuse is limited to physical injuries that can be seen without any medical intervention whatsoever – and apparently, they are SO WELL trained, that they can determine the mental wellness of individuals and can assess and evaluate, without any empirical testing whatsoever.

Funny – I spent six years in school and 20 years in the field….  and a mental health assessment still takes a minimum of 4-6 HOURS, not to mention the criminal element, that can not possibly be addressed until a comprehensive and thorough background check and investigation of prior behaviors is assessed. Doctors are called, medication is verified, criminal records are investigated, families are interviewed –

But they KNOW THAT, right?

I mean, after all, they have spent at least 1 hour in “Domestic Violence Training,” coupled with an hour of “mental health awareness” training.

Pshhhhhhhhhhhhh…. They are the Pros.  

Silly Holly…

So, the police didn’t do what they have SWORN to do “Protect” or “Serve,” let alone “Keep the Peace,” and now Gabby is dead.

Another domestic homicide to add to the stats.

The coward, Laundrie is dead.

The parents of Laundrie have destroyed every piece of evidence there is or will ever be.

Including Laundrie’s own body…

So, what will be the repercussions?

I know the answer… Because it has not changed in 35 years!


There will not be justice for Gabby. There will never be peace for her family – They do not know the Lord, and that also makes my heart sick.

Nothing will change, the work of police officers answering domestic calls without a domestic violence specialist will never happen –

Of course, that would be an invasion of their “power and control.”

That would be invasive to their tender egos.

That would be annoying.

That would take up even more time

Most importantly, that would be accountability.

And we certainly do not want that!

Did you know that we do not track 911 calls back to the police reports, police response, or even the outcome of the initial call?


I, personally know of more than a few incidences whereby 911 OR police dispatch were called, police showed up, NO REPORT WAS FILED.

In more than THREE incidents in the past three years, the offender had a weapon and NO ARREST WAS MADE –

One officer even told the victim that he wasn’t going to arrest the alleged offender… AND I QUOTE: “because [he, the officer], wasn’t there, how do I know that you didn’t stage this?”

The mentally ill, off his medication, the offender was in the woods in the back of the house. The family begged the officers to wait on the scene until they could obtain the proper paperwork to get him into a treatment facility.

They complied – but DID NOT TRANSPORT the highly volatile, threatening, and dangerous man. LET ALONE call in a mental health expert.

Another officer, after arriving to a scene whereby the offender threatened the wife, the roommate, and 3 CHILDREN with a gun – including firing several rounds into the air – not only did NOT MAKE AN ARREST – But DID NOT file a police report.

When the victim confronted the Sheriff’s department with an audio recording of the event, they found the time to file an incident report – but labeled it a “VERBAL ALTERCATION.”


Neither of those things has happened…

I know because while I was sitting on my patio one morning, the OFFENDER, along with his Pit-Bull mix dog, walked up, sat down, and filled me in.

Along with some other quite intimidating information for me to “think about.”

When I met with the Sheriff’s office to offer up this handy-dandy information and plead for more training (not to mention a statement to the officers about this Domestic Violence Service Provider’s well-researched and confirmed report) – The Deputy Chief informed me that he would NOT initiate a review – or make any type of a statement to his deputies, or even obtain further training for his officers.

Instead, what he did tell me was to obtain (and pay for) a “Records Request.”

Just an FYI: That’s the equivalent of a suspect telling the police, “Go Get a Warrant!”

So again I say: We have a problem.

People are evil.

They are not good and never have been.

“There is none good, no not one.”

The Bible declares that all men are literally “born into sin.”

That, “the heart is wicked… deceitful above all else… and is not to be trusted.”

Therefore, we must begin believing that truth of the Bible – God’s holy, inerrant Word – and understand that offenders MUST BE PROSECUTED.


But the Bible also instructs us to be wise.

That includes knowing your weaknesses and calling on the help of those who can compensate with the strength (gifts) that God has ordained upon them.

We’re all just sinners trying really hard not to sin.

And – there are those of us, who have pursued their gift of discernment by using the experiences that God has allowed in their lives in order to “speak for the oppressed and pursue justice.”

“For such a time as this.”

But the “powers that be,” seemingly do not want to expose their weakness. Instead, they want to be perceived as being “in control,” “the authority,” “the keeper of all things righteous, holy, and just….”

The legislators of morality.

But that doesn’t work when you have no standard for morality.

Without God as the standard. There is no standard.

And then people (even people in power and who have authority) lie, cheat, and do substandard work that they declare is “best in the long run.”

I say this because Pastor David and I live in what is known as “The Bible Belt.” And although that might have been true a century ago – It’s not even in the realm of possibilities in 2021.

Fact is, we live in the “Church Belt.”

Cities upon cities of “believers.”

They have NO idea what they believe, let alone why they believe it…  

OH yes! There is a myriad of very vocal, I might add, “Believers.”

Churches in every other building as you walk down the block, you could stand on the stoop of one, spit, and hit the stoop of another…

But the Bible…?

Is it being preached?

Is it being followed?


It might be quoted here and there – But it is most CERTAINLY not being read… let alone exegeted, or studied.

But misunderstood?

Oh yeah. The feel-good, no-condemnation, no-sin, no-consequences, God loves everybody, let’s get to lunch on time…

That is practiced regularly.

Right along with the “Jesus is my boyfriend” song list – being BLASTED from the “stage” (we don’t have alters anymore) by Nashville-reject/wanna-be’s, enjoying their regularly scheduled Sunday morning concert series.

Pastor Dave and I sat on a committee that held a roundtable for “faith” leaders in the community. One of the speakers, a well-known local pastor, actually stated that when we are trying to help people in our community, there will be times whereby “We need to lay aside our theology…” while all the other “pastors” shook their heads in agreement.

I thought Pastor David’s head would explode.

NOWHERE. NOT EVER. Does God command, deem appropriate, or even suggest that we are to “lay aside the Gospel.”


Dave and I no longer serve on that committee.

As a matter of fact, we do not serve on any of the “faith” or “church” committees/organizations that have been organized to “help” in this part of the “Bible belt.”

Because they have all proven to be heresy.

Unequally yoked groups of people whose mission is advancing their social status – NOT advancing the Gospel of Jesus Christ.


They have made for themselves false gods of their own distorted, evil beliefs– and their gods let them do whatever they want, without fear of consequences – Not now or in the eternity to come.

“… a silversmith, who made silver shrines of Artemis, brought no little business to the craftsmen… ‘you see and hear that not only in Ephesus but in almost all of Asia this Paul has persuaded and turned away a great many people, saying that gods made with hands are not gods.’” (Acts 20:24-26).

Proof of this fact is that we have a nationally acclaimed preacher standing in a pulpit, just down the road from my house, whereby he gaslighted his wife into believing that she was insane (the true meaning of gaslighting, by the way) – and when she went into an institution, he married his mistress of decades – after she divorced her husband, and member of the church – The same couple that he, himself actually married!

Yeah, he’s a real winner…

His name is @GREGLOCKE – I’m sure you’ve heard of him. He is a classic and flagrant domestic abuse offender who is politically driven to attain power and control through notoriety and perceived social value…

But what the Bible says is that he is “WORTHLESS, and UNFIT for any good work.”

Yet here in the “Bible belt,” he’s a hero.

Along with the pride and joy of the buckle being their beloved Southern Baptist Convention (SBC). All with their nearly 1,000 documented claims against Pastors and church leaders for sexual abuse, domestic violence, adultery, pediophelia, sex trafficking, etc.

Of course, they’ve all been allowed to resign, retire, or simply move to another church with full benefits, of course. So, I guess it’s all ok since they’re not at that church anymore.

And for those of you heathens who had invited Pastor David and me to these events with this blaspheming, wife-abusing, adulterous, false teaching, pathetic excuse for a man – without informing us first – You’re lack of integrity has been noted – and you too can just take a seat.

“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints… you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them” (Eph. 5:3, 5-7).

Another source of evidence is that we have an entire COUNTY of “Believers” who sit in office – yet not ONE could tell you how the abortion clinic appeared…

And not ONE of these “pro-lifers” can tell you what they will do to shut it down.

Because they are not.

They do not value human life either – They desire power. They desire control – driven by the gods of greed and social status.

They assume office, and instead of working on behalf of “the people,” they begin work on committee nominations and re-election campaigns.

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” (Is. 5:20).

So what’s the point in this blog?

It’s a public statement.

  • FIRST: If you think that I was mean… too frustrated… ugly… or had a bad attitude BEFORE…

Well, you’re in for a real treat!

Buckle up, buttercup.

“Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning” (1 tim. 5:20).

  • SECOND: We need politicians who possess a fear of the Lord God and His chosen. Men (yes… PC police, “wo” men too), who are willing to actually SERVE the people – regardless of whether or not they obtain a committee position or get re-elected….

We get to decide whether or not you get re-elected.

You work for us. To preserve (and return) our constitutional rights.

We need these individuals at the city, county, and state levels! Not just federal.  

  • THIRD:  Domestic Violence professionals, Mental Health professionals, need to work in coordination with the police departments.


  • FORTH: Immediate action must be taken to secure accountability. There needs to be accountability with regard to how domestics are handled and the outcome of those calls. And it starts with an audit of every single 911/dispatch domestic and the corresponding law enforcement agency that responded, the actions taken, reports filed….
  • Follow-up visits and case management.

(Oh wait… law enforcement doesn’t do follow-up visits (well, unless it’s another, more escalated – or even domestic homicide…. Some social workers/psychologists, hu?).

  • FINALLY: This is NOT a “hate on law enforcement,” blog!

 I back the blue.

Read my tweets/Facebook history, and you will see that I am a staunch supporter of law enforcement – Including the agencies I have just mentioned.

I just hate when they lie to me, ignore me, pacify me, try to “explain” their inadequate or just plain bad behavior, dismiss me, blackball me, or even have the audacity to think I believe them while they are denying doing it…

I absolutely despise the treatment officers receive from the public and especially the leaders – It’s horrific!

I’ve met some really great men and women with great hearts and a god-fearing desire to change the world, bring comfort, fight for justice, and who genuinely are called to work in this field.

But I’ve also met some that are NOT.

It is time that law enforcement (and politicians alike) stays in their lane.

You are not social workers, you are not parapsychologists, you are not even lay-counselors, and you are ESPECIALLY NOT well educated, exponentially trained, Domestic Violence or Mental Health Professionals.

Because if you were – you would know that what you “say” you are doing is a violation of the code of ethics for those of us who are actually in this profession.

And you would have the integrity to know that you do not have the qualifications to be of service in this manner. So, therefore, you would call for the professional help these individuals deserve.

It is nothing but a slap in the face when our professional expertise is not seen as a benefit – not to mention when you openly diminish the ethical and integral standard of our work down to nothing more than a 20 minute “on scene” assessment rather than the on-going, time-consuming, thorough investigative treatments and resources that we offer.

Bottom line: You’re trying to put a raging house fire out with a lawn-hose.



“… One of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?” (James 2:16).

Rip victims of domestic abuse. May God Almighty have mercy on your soul and reign down holy-hell on the offenders – and the people that continue to allow it to happen.

“For you are not a God who delights in wickedness;
    Evil may not dwell with you.
The boastful shall not stand before your eyes;
    you hate all evildoers.
You destroy those who speak lies;
    the Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.” Ps. 5:4-6





Intimate Partner Terrorism: The Church’s Response. (A Post from the Pastor of Pump – David Ashley)

Holly T. Ashley

The following is an excerpt from the Redemption. Restoration. Recovery. (R3) Domestic Violence Services and Training manual (Chapter: “Church Discipline”) and is used by permission.

David Ashley, M.A.Apologetics, M.Divinity

Church Discipline

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore, do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.  For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.  But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for…

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It is W.R.A.P. Week –


From the National Center on Sexual Exploitation: Pornography teaches violence, especially against women. Research shows that pornography consumption is significantly associated with increases in verbal and physical aggression, among males and females alike. Moreover, in the 50 most popular pornographic videos (bought or rented), 88% of scenes contained physical violence, and 49% contained verbal aggression. Eighty-seven percent of aggressive acts were perpetrated against women, and 95% of their responses were either neutral or expressions of pleasure.

Join the fight against domestic violence by getting rid of porn.

Wolves in Shepherds Clothing: Justice for Lynn Messer and Victims of Abuse everywhere.

Wolves in Shepherds Clothing: Justice for Lynn Messer and Victims of Abuse everywhere.

Let me catch you up… In July of 2014, the wife of a Missouri state lobbyist for Christian, Biblical, homeschooling, pro-life, and family values – disappeared. Kerry Messer stated that he woke up at 4:00 am from the noisy storm, realizing that his wife was not in bed. According Mr. Messer, Lynn simply walked away from her bed in the middle of the night, in the midst of a raging storm… He would also like us to believe that this gun owning, suicidal woman – left her gun behind. According to Messer, she did not take her phone or her wedding ring or any personal items for that matter. In addition, Mr. Messer would like for the church to believe that Mrs. Messer simply decided to leave the house, the children, her Vacation Bible School commitment, and her grandchildren behind. (Read more here)

In addition to this bizarre line of distorted thinking by Kerry Messer – There was also the “friend,” Ms. Spring Thomas, who aided in the search effort – and has since become the girlfriend of Messer.

Unfortunately, the church has complied with Kerry Messer’s wishes. Not just the local congregation of First Baptist Church Festus, Chrystal City , but also he is still in the business of lobbying on behalf of Chrisitan issues. The pastor and members of First Baptist Church Festus have welcomed Kerry Messer, adulteress and suspected murder to continue in their fellowship – but they have honored him with distinction – as being the victim of circumstances and consequently exalted the alleged murder, and confirmed adulterous with a public memorial service scheduled for August 20, 2017 – A service that neither of the sons, nor Lynn Messer’s sisters or mother have been invited to…

Whereby I hope every single Christian in the area will show up and protest such a crude and disgraceful macabre. (If you can’t make it, you can call, email and write – see the bottom of the page).

Holly T. Ashley

Let me catch you up… In July of 2014, the wife of a Missouri state lobbyist for Christian, Biblical, homeschooling, pro-life, and family values – disappeared. Kerry Messer stated that he woke up at 4:00 am from the noisy storm, realizing that his wife was not in bed. According Mr. Messer, Lynn simply walked away from her bed in the middle of the night, in the midst of a raging storm… He would also like us to believe that this gun owning, suicidal woman – left her gun behind. According to Messer, she did not take her phone or her wedding ring or any personal items for that matter. In addition, Mr. Messer would like for the church to believe that Mrs. Messer simply decided to leave the house, the children, her Vacation Bible School commitment, and her grandchildren behind. (Read more here)

In addition to this bizarre line of…

View original post 1,984 more words